It’s been a long time since I’ve written an activity report. And don’t worry, I’m not going to write a multi-page pamphlet. At least, I hope not.
In fact, it’s been so long that I don’t even know where to begin. So do I just start where I think it would be a good place to start, or where it almost came to a messy end?
I think I should start at the possible ending, though.
However, I need some introductory explanations for that.
As you know, I’ve only recently – though recently, as I was shocked to realize the other day, is actually the wrong adverb – taken up digital art, namely using 3D assets to render images.
Since I have a full-time job (even though I hate my job abysmally, as it just makes you dumb and drained), I have pretty little time to devote to what’s really important: My hobbies.
Of course, my most important hobby is my girlfriend, and in order not to upset her, I naturally have a few things to do at home, like our nameless protagonist of “A Very Small Business” once had to do, besides the obligatory cuddling.
If we add an average of 5 to 6 hours of sleep, I have no more than 6 hours a day to indulge in my hobbies. But, of course, that is if my nerve-racking work hasn’t completely worn me out.
Most of the time, it’s not even these 6 hours that I can muster.
But why am I telling you all this?
The answer is that I try to put as much as I can into this meager free time to improve myself and my skills, but I regularly get to the point where self-doubt gnaws at me about whether I’m imposing too much on myself and that my digital works are just bad.
My self-doubt got worse and worse in the last quarter of the past year until I was on the verge of saying goodbye to digital art completely in December to focus only on writing.
Of course, this also affected my mood and made me quite discontented. And this also led me to stop working on the visual novel “Books Make Dreams Come True,” although I only still had to render the images for the last 2 or 3 chapters. But more about “Books Make Dreams Come True” another time.
My girlfriend, Farra and Grabiobot, and other good friends, especially Willibrordus, eventually managed to convince me not to give up.
Moreover, in the meantime, I was also able to locate the main sting of my self-doubt and consequently pulled it out of my flesh.
I made the mistake last year of posting my images on Slushe as well, but since they don’t match their usual subjects, I misinterpreted the disregard I received there through their feature system.
Since I left Slushe behind in December and was able to give myself enough confidence again by reworking old images (e.g., the image series “A Photo Shooting with Rose“), I’m also doing much better.
This is to say that as soon as possible, I will continue working on “Books Make Dreams Come True,” and from then on, my priority will be this project.
Well, here I have already reached the second page of text and have not nearly dealt with all the topics that would have to be addressed. But I think I have annoyed you enough for today.
See you soon, and thanks to all of you for your support.
Sincerely yours,
AbyssalEros
